Contract templates

topic posted Sun, March 30, 2008 - 12:32 PM by  Charles
Does anyone know of one? The intent would be for a limited duration M/s contract, scope may be limited depending on how negotiation develops, non 24/7, and I would like to incorporate methods of tracking progress to make it possible to follow this method of setting goals
This is for someone who thrives on intensity and behaves like a slave generally speaking, but can eventually become uncomfortable if the duration is too long or once subspace is dropped out of some hours or a day later. I have a draft already, but it would be good to see if while I am busy inventing the wheel there are other formulas I could integrate.
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SF Bay Area
  • Unsu...

    Re: Contract templates

    Sun, March 30, 2008 - 8:54 PM
    It seems to me like a contract is a very individual thing between a Master and a slave and can vary depending on each situation. What might work for one slave wouldn't for another. Our contract was a mutual thing that we designed together each time. It also changed a quite a bit from the first one we had that was when we were more D/s and didn't live together. The next one had to be different to account for being 24/7. It was important to both of us that it wasn't a "slave" contract but rather a contract with things we BOTH needed to fulfil.

    If you are looking on-line for contracts at all, I would be cautious of some that you find because there are many that are not designed for "real" relationships and a lot more for on-line or those that have very little personal contact.

    I may be sort of speaking for Master here, but he often suggests contracts that have expiration dates--especially to people that are new to each other. That gives lots of opportunity to re-negotiate at various intervals. This can be a weekend, a week, 30 days or more.

    Finally, I would say keep it simple. I'm a "less is more" kinda gal myself.

    Good luck!

    • Re: Contract templates

      Mon, March 31, 2008 - 1:24 AM
      Yes I agree with everything you said, which is why I'm talking about a template to be adjusted by the signers and also why I am asking here rather than grabbing the oh so common "Slave to be shaved at all times, and must suck cock when told" that must be on the internet as a supposed M/s contract worded slightly differently and available from innumerable sites. This is a first draft I was working on, with the names removed. Not that I care, but the other party might not want to be mentioned by name in this discussion so it is.

      MS contract, limited duration

      Background: Briefly define what we are doing, and why you believe we will succeed.

      Needs summary: What do we need and why?

      Who we are: Who are we, and what makes us the right people to make this work per what is expected of us?

      How will this help us: What positive effects do you project our M/s providing us with?

      How will decisions be made: What sort of checking in is planned, and to what extent is authority limited in this power exchange?

      How will this evolve and grow: How will we evaluate the success of this relationship, and the potential for growth or improvement. Do we have a way to chart, identify, and present our progress over time?

      Where and when: Is there any particular location or time period M/s will or won't occur while the contract is still in effect, and when M/s isn't present, how much do we limit our affection or power structure? What is the start and end date of the initial signing of the contract?

      Style: What is the leadership style and philosophy called for by this contract?

      Others: Will there be others (non signers) involved in a romantic, or BDSM way with either contract signers and if so what limitations or responsibilities are expressed?

      Job/role description: What is the "job description" of each signer?

      Authority: Will authority be available by default to the s while in M/s mode, such as, to have autonomy without it being expressed that it was granted?

      Discipline: What is required for it to be determined that it is merited, how is the method selected, and what limits if any are imposed on the scope disciplinary actions?

      Easy: What will be most easy for you?

      Hard: What will be hardest for you?

      Risk: What are the tender areas that require caution, and how can risks be minimized?

      Enthusiasm: What do you look forward to most about this, and hope to have in great amounts?

      I commit to, desire to have, and aspire to these things:

      1) Example, Master delivering, and slave accepting whippings
      2)Example, slave accepting orders gracefully and obediently

      These things need to be avoided, and I desire not to encounter them currently, and will avoid them as possible:

      1)Example, being given orders on days not set aside for M/s
      2)Example, being given orders without a way to appeal for conversation such as in a comments note later on

      I, the undersigned, agree to uphold the intent and spirit of this contract and abide by the rules set forth by it to the best of my ability and understanding of its meaning. By signing this, I agree to be bound by it for a period from
      ____________date to _____________ date.

      _____________________ _______________________
      • Unsu...

        Re: Contract templates

        Mon, March 31, 2008 - 6:49 AM
        This is a bit overwhelming to me and seems like an awful lot of words to put together for a contract. It also seems like more of an outline of things to use for negotiation instead of being in a contract. I'd run into the woods if a Dom came at me with something this structured and complicated.

        During Master Jim and slave marsha's keynote speech last year (or it could have been at the last class we attended of theirs) they talked about how there was this HUGE contract between the two of them--pages and pages. Of course, slave marsha being an attorney would find loopholes. In order to rectify this problem, slave marsha's contract now says "I will obey." I like that. Less is more in some instances.

        • Re: Contract templates

          Mon, March 31, 2008 - 9:04 AM
          I like Master Skip and slave rick's contract.

          slave rick's says he will obey.
          Master Skip's says he will not give an order that slave rick cannot obey.
          • Re: Contract templates

            Mon, March 31, 2008 - 9:33 AM
            Yeah, that's pretty much what mine is. We don't have a physical contract, just a mutual understanding. I am to do whatever Joshy sama says as long as it won't permanently damage me or is illegal. I trust that he knows my current limits and will only have me do things that doesn't surpass them (at least too much).
            • Re: Contract templates

              Mon, March 31, 2008 - 11:04 AM
              i have a similar contract situation too Seedlet. Master Michael and i don't have a physical contract, just a very strong verbal contract. We both filled out our "limits" for certain types of play/activities/lifestyles. However, as i am one for formality, i do like the contract Charles is considering using. It leaves many topics/concerns out of question. But to each their own. We are all unique.
              • Re: Contract templates

                Wed, April 2, 2008 - 5:55 AM
                We do too. Master and i had long discussions of what our commitment to each other would be, what we both wanted to get out of a M/s relationship, etc. We did the fetish checklist to make sure we were clear on boundaries, etc. We did have a short set of 'vows' we wrote out for eachother as a guidine to what we were each committing to, but we do not have a formal, written contract that was signed or has a time limit or antyhing like that. Our relationship is growing and sometimes it changes and needs tweeking. We do what works for us and sometimes what we thought would work actually didn't in reality so we are flexible and leave room for adjustments. Master likes it better that way and so do i.
                • Re: Contract templates

                  Thu, April 3, 2008 - 12:40 PM
                  It seems like a fetish checklist, along with a list of individual issues could be discussed and refined into conclusions that make up what the contract consists of would be a tidy way to do it. Is that similar to what you did, subbygirl?
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Contract templates

                    Fri, April 4, 2008 - 6:04 AM
                    we did the checklist to determine boundaries and interests. Master also had me do a chart of how being a slave would look to me. i'd never been in this type of relationship and He wanted to see if my thoughts and desires were grounded and not just some fantasy that wouldn't play out well in RL. But for us, we felt we didn't want a contract as it felt too businesslike. we did a commitment cerimony and i try to strive to be the slave He wants daily. i do think you could take the checklist answers though and mold a contract out of them. i used portions of some contracts i found on line and in books as a template for some of my vows to Him.
                    • Re: Contract templates

                      Fri, April 4, 2008 - 12:24 PM
                      Can you go into more detail about this chart you made?
                      • Re: Contract templates

                        Fri, April 4, 2008 - 8:23 PM
                        i' was brand new to BDSM at the time and all that it entails, and though i wanted this type of relationship i'd never thought about the details of what it might entail. There's a lot of fantasy out there that doesn't translate well to RL and He wanted to make sure my vision was attainable and real. i just chose some areas of focus, like appearance, chastity, tasks, punishments, speech, behavior, rewards, etc. Then a list of some descriptions of what these might or might not look like to me. Then what would and wouldn't work for me in each situation and why. Not that our life is taylored in any way to what works for me. It was more to see if what i liked/disliked/desired meshed with what He wanted and expected from me, because it would be a much harder journey if there wasn't some overlap in needs and desires between us. And finally a column in essence of what the effect on me would be - how each area would help to enforce my position in the relationship and my commitment to Him. There was also a list of humiliation tasks/play and a written portion of what being a slave looked like to me. He just wanted me to put my desires down on paper as a visual aide and to open up negotiation prior to collaring and comitting to this life with Him. Though He is the Master and i the slave our relationship is based on mutual desires and goals and that's why it works for us.
        • Re: Contract templates

          Mon, March 31, 2008 - 12:41 PM
          Oh, no question that I prefer that one! However, this is not a situation where that would work at this point. The slave-to-be in question operates like that (obeys automatically, does whatever I say), but finds that while she'll do anything I say eventually she might find that there is a difference between doing anything I want and being comfortable with it in the long run. There were a lot in the way of "unspoken expectations" in the last go around I had with this person. She and I lived together for three months last year, and it got to be overwhelming for her. This contract is designed as a tool to facilitate an understanding of what is expected, and to define opportunities for communication. She already knows full well the contract ideally says little more than "I obey" signed, slave. In fact that is pretty much a direct quote from her. This is to ease some things that were a problem once, so they can be understood and resolved while minimizing tension and disappointment for either party. For those who are currently in an "I obey" situation, was it always that easy? I had a M/s relationship that started that way and lasted a number of years, and in retrospect, I may have been a little roughshod. I am trying to become a better communicator.
          • Unsu...

            Re: Contract templates

            Mon, March 31, 2008 - 5:38 PM
            I think better communication is a very good thing. My 2 cents about putting it all into a contract is that it makes things rather dense and complicated. I think the points on your contract are excellent discussion points and once discussed, might be typed up and saved somewhere for review. In regards to contracts, I think simplicity is key. It also sounds like from what you have written that this might be a trial situation at which point I definitely recommend a beginning and end time on it. I have a friend who is a Master who requires a lot of writing from any potential slave on exactly the issues you brought up - their intent, what are their feelings about slavery, etc. It's only after those assignments are completed and discussed that a contract is filled out.

            Summary - slow is good when building a relationship. To have something to refer back to the meantime - a short weekend/or monthly contract might be useful
            • Re: Contract templates

              Tue, April 1, 2008 - 12:42 PM
              What I did, was to give the template to her with the idea that we will both fill it out and not see each other's responses until we trade them to each other. The reason to fill them out independantly is so we don't skew each other's results, and can give our honest and fairly unbiased feelings on the topics. At that point, we'll compare notes and see if we can integrate things into some sort of contract and satisfaction tracking system. Am I doing somthing really unusual, or have others tried somthing like this?
              • Re: Contract templates

                Tue, April 1, 2008 - 12:56 PM
                I think that's a great idea charles, but only for informational purposes to assist in the negotiation process.

                I wouldn't let those differences be a roadblock to her serving/owning you.

                That's what the negotiation is all about. Seeing if you can come up with a way to to make sure both parties are getting what they need from the relationship.

                Once you've completed negotiating the terms, then you can write a contract that will cement those terms for both of you.
                • Re: Contract templates

                  Tue, April 1, 2008 - 10:34 PM
                  I like where you are going with that. Would you mind saying more about how to deal with differences as they are discovered? Personally, finding a difference doesn't mean for me in all cases that the situation can't serve both parties. Not everyone seems to have that same initial reaction however.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Contract templates

                    Wed, April 2, 2008 - 1:20 AM
                    Well I think there are some differences that would be a roadblock.

                    Here's a very hypothetical negotation scenerio...

                    Lets just say for example, you're negotiating with a potential slave for a full time live in TPE arrangement. During negotiations you discover she wants to retain control over her own finances... So you reflect on that. You ask yourself how important is that detail to me.... And you decide you can live with that... So you agree that'll go into the contract that she retains control over her own money/finances....

                    You both breath a sigh of relief that things are still moving forward positively, and you continue talking about each point, negotiating what's important for both of you. when you discover she doesn't want to ever be peed on.

                    So you reflect on that. At this point you decide to draw the line.... You've told her very clearly you want a "no limit" slave, and when she wanted to maintain control of her own finances you decided that was legitimate concern, but you don't want her having arbitrary limits (even if you had no intention of peeing on her) so you tell her that.

                    She holds a hard line that she does not want to ever be peed on and you remain stubborn about having a no limits slave.... Sounds like a deal breaker. Time to find a new slave.

                    Ofcourse that's really over simplified and that negotiation could go many different ways, it was just an example of what I was trying to say earlier.

                    I don't think there should be an initial reaction to a concern or a condition the other party has. I think taking time to reflect on it internally and to decide what you really need/want is and how it would be affected by that condition or limit. Then when you make that decision and talk about it with her, she should take some time to evaluate your response and to re-evaluate how important that condition or limit really is to her.

                    Either the two of you can resolve it or you cannot.
                    • Re: Contract templates

                      Wed, April 2, 2008 - 3:24 PM
                      For me, this works, because I have been Sir, Daddy, Master, or even "you bastard" depending on the situation and as long as I am getting certain key things I want or need I'm willing to go about it different ways. If I drive a car, a truck, or a horse and they all get me to my intended destination each has their own draw but they all serve my purpose. Agreeing that different paths may be needed when a roadblock is reached as a first response, rather than calling the trip a bust, seems wise to me.

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